The Morgantowner: Thanksgiving, Memphis, 2016

There is a new, semi-secret group on Facebook called "Pantsuit Nation." It's mostly women and mostly Hillary Clinton supporters. A Morgantown friend from California, who moved back to California last summer, added me to the group. There is also a West Virginia chapter. Most of the posts are from people who have been victims of hate crimes and discriminatory behavior. Often, posters ran out of a family Thanksgiving dinner because of something awful a parent or sibling said to them. It might have been a racial comment, or a refusal to accept the poster's same-gender spouse.

Joe and I are lucky, or perhaps blessed. I have one cousin who, from what I hear, is a big Republican. That cousin hasn't spoken to me since my mother's death nearly fourteen years ago. Just as well. Neither Joe nor I have political issues with our closest family members. We are always treated respectfully. We are all distraught about the 2016 Presidential election.

It was my sister's turn to have us for Thanksgiving this year, but there were complications, both for her and for us. Joe wanted to attend his family's grand Thanksgiving dinner in Memphis. We drove 210 miles to Greenbelt, Maryland Sunday and had a pre-Thanksgiving meal with my sister, her son and his fiancée. My nephew then went off to his girl's parents in Ohio, and, as a bonus, they left their sweet dog with my sister, where I was able to spend time with him.

We scored a non-stop flight from Baltimore to Memphis Tuesday, stayed at a suburban motel (with one free night), and rented a car. Although we asked for the cheapest, smallest car available, we left the lot in a gorgeous cherry-red 2017 Dodge Challenger with a hemi engine. I became fond of the car.

Joe's aunt and uncle and sister in Memphis have been great to me since I met them nine years ago, in what I see now as a ritual, bringing your new significant other for the family's inspection. Joe and his late mother were the oldest in his family, and I am older than Joe, so the "old" aunt and uncle are not much older than I am. We were nineteen family members at Thanksgiving.

A cousin's husband is an executive with the Memphis Grizzlies, so we spent Friday at a basketball game. We ate at many restaurants, mostly on Joe's uncle's dime. We saw a few movies, including "Loving" about an interracial couple arrested for being in love. We noted the connection to our non-traditional marriage.

Finally, we attended a rally against hate, held in a once-abandoned church, where Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke in 1968, just before he was murdered. It's a beautiful place, almost literally falling down, a reminder of history and the passage of time. There were religious leaders of all stripes, including the rabbi from Memphis' Reform synagogue. There were speakers from immigrant communities, an LGBT center, the ACLU and Planned Parenthood. Memphis is a multi-cultural, largely African-American city in an overwhelmingly conservative state. People are frightened by the rhetoric of the incoming administration, the backward-looking picks for cabinet posts, and the liberty now felt by racists, homophobes and neo-Nazis to speak out. Older African-Americans have been through this before, The spiritual presence of Dr. King was there in that former church to give us all hope. I attended a Rally For Change here in Morgantown Wednesday night after we got back. That rally was more about enacting specific political change here.

I loved being in Memphis. In addition to Joe's extended family. I found the people outgoing and friendly. I felt more "at home" in Memphis and in Greenbelt, in Prince George's County, Maryland, where my sister lives, than I do in Morgantown.

Our congregation here in Morgantown is still lovely, and although the county voted majority for the Republican presidential candidate, there is a core of people of good will, who are willing to fight the hateful troglodytes who have come out of the woodwork since the election. Joe and I will live here for the forseeable future, and be activists for equality.We have no other choice.

We have already attended two meetings (today is Sunday, December 4) in the five days since we returned from Thanksgiving. The meeting Wednesday was political, the one today was an interfaith council. Things are in the works here.

We'll be off to New York for an extended visit at the end of the year. New York is another spiritual home for us.