The Morgantowner: San Francisco - July 31- August 8, 2016

People were asking if we were planning a party for Joe's sixtieth birthday at the end of August. I didn't want to do that, so I suggested to Joe that we return to our adult roots (Joe from twenty-four; I from thirty-four) in California. He readily agreed and here we are. Joe lived in San Francisco from 1984-2004, and then in Los Angeles from 2005 to 2010. I lived in Los Angeles from 1984 to 2010.

We thought we would be adults and stay in motels instead of crashing with friends, until we looked at the cost. Joe's friend Nathan offered to put us up in his flat in Haight-Ashbury. He is remarkably generous. Joe arranged lunch and dinner dates with a dozen friends; I contacted my friend Art, whose parents and mine were friends in Baltimore before we were born. We traveled in Europe together in the summer of 1971.

What I noticed in San Francisco is what tourists always see: it's cold in August. Most of the clothes I brought were not warm enough to handle the low temperatures in the fifties at night. I've always loved San Francisco, and I saw again how beautiful it is, with its greenery, its architecture, the vistas from the parks and hillsides.

There were plans for San Francisco in the 1970s. No new freeways (indeed, two were torn down and not replaced after the 1989 earthquake), no big parking lots, preservation of most of the old city. The vision was of a city where people would bicycle or take transit to work, where the old neighborhoods would be restored to their former glory.

This has worked, to a large extent. The problem here, as in other beautiful cities, is that the cost of housing has skyrocketed, pushing out those of meager means who helped transform the city. The rise of Silicon Valley, not far south, and full of highly-paid, highly-educated young people, has made San Francisco a go-to place to live.

We heard from friends in rent-controlled apartments that they fear their landlords will try to displace them. People we know complained about how "arrogant" the young are, how out of touch with local values. Those who own houses talk of cashing out and moving to Palm Springs, or other less expensive cities.

One of Joe's friends, who has done well selling real estate, said "Change is inevitable." And that's what I most agree with. The young people do ride bicycles or take transit to work They have fixed up, or caused to be fixed up, blighted neighborhoods.

There is an element of subverting the new San Francisco. We rented a car at the airport, and often during our stay had to park a mile from Nathan's home to find a legal space. With the lack of parking, people now take Uber and Lyft to work, so people don't park (nearly impossible and expensive if you can find it) but cars still crowd the streets. The city streets where the freeways used to be are jammed.

There are still people sleeping on the streets in Haight-Ashbury, and our friends took us to both expensive and cheap restaurants in town, or cooked for us. The Castro neighborhood is still the gayest place in the United States, although while there I noticed the older men on the street were still twenty years younger than I.

And that is what made me saddest. San Francisco was an epicenter of the AIDS crisis in the 80s and 90s. We are survivors of that epidemic. Some of Joe's friends are HIV positive, but coping well. Still, I felt the presence of ghosts all around me saying "Don't forget us." And I won't.

I posted pictures on Facebook of our visits with friends, and two people said they had never seen me look so happy. One friend in Morgantown answered "He's home." Spiritually, yes. I huffed and puffed more than I used to walking up the hills, and I didn't rent a bike or see Radiohead in Golden Gate Park, which I would have liked. Joe would not have liked either of those, and we stayed busy anyway.

I loved seeing Joe's friends (one of his best friends was in Europe, so we missed him). They are quirky in that old San Francisco way, very openly gay in their lives, and free to live how they want. It was only after I first met them that I thought I could stay with Joe. Still, I agree that the city has been "taken over" by young people. That happened in 1967 also, as I remember. And will probably continue to happen as long as there is a city.

We left Monday for Los Angeles, where we are now.